something nobody knows about natalie.

Jenelle Evans from 16&preg is bisexual. When she was dating Jared, (one of my best friends) she asked for pictures of my boobs! it was gross, weird and embarrassing all at the same time! i thought i'd get that off my chest.

Sorry, i ditched you for tumblr.

i've been on tumblr lately, i like it. but chris doesn't read this, he reads my tumblr posts, so when i need to talk about him. i'll come here. he's mad at me. we have been so fantastically amazing the past week. i don't know whats wrong. i wasn't talking because i was trying to find a video of the "she doesn't even go here!" quote so i could show him what i was laughing at, and he hung up on me. he called back, and i turned my video off. yeah, i was on skype. he got mad at me again, and turned it off. i don't know what's up with this spacing. ILOVEJOSHBYRD. i have to go to carowinds with my family on sunday. how lame is that. i know i sound unappreciative, but i'm not really interested in listening to my sisters whine while i try to enjoy a day of fun&love&rollercoasters. i'll try. as always.

well, for now.

hey.

i took a picture with Kreg's shoe today!

hah, also listened to Raymond, Marcus, and Kregs conversation.

Kreg = Hot.

but what happened? they talk about my backside. is that really the only feature appealing about me! 11 new episodes of true life!

i like my boyfriend.

i'm ready to play patton on monday.

i will never waste my time at patton high school.

icecream.

i'm eating ice cream, normally i would frown upon this. because it's fattening. but i run a mile everyday. what do i care?

Saturday School.

I'm at school right now, i'm probably not supposed to be blogging.
But i am.
Mr.Ervin loves me anyways. so i doubt he'll really care.
i should probably figure out what my civics homework is because i haven't been at school.
oh, well.
Montana is on my left side.
Shereese is on my right side.
i like my friends.
they say "Hello."

Boston.

In the light of the sun
Is there anyone? Oh, it has begun
Oh dear, you look so lost
Your eyes are red, the tears are shed
This world you must have crossed, you said
You don't know me
And you don't even care, oh yeah
And you said, you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains, oh yeah
Essential yet appealed
You carry all your thoughts across an open field
Where flowers gaze at you
They're not the only ones who cry when they see you
You said you don't know me
And you don't even care, oh yeah
Well you said you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains, oh yeah
She said I think I'll go to Boston
I think I'll start a new life
I think I'll start it over
Where no one knows my name
I'll get out of California
I'm tired of the weather
I think I'll get a lover
And fly 'em out to Spain
Oh yeah and I think I'll go to Boston
I think that I was tired
I think I need a new town
To leave this all behind
I think I need a sunrise
I'm tired of Sunset
I hear it's nice in the summer
Some snow would be nice, oh yeah
You don't know me
And you don't even care, oh yeah
Boston, where no one knows my name
Where no one knows my name
Where no one knows my name, yeah
Boston, where no one knows my name

win.

Spinner: I didn't mean 'homo' as in 'gay', I mean 'homo' as in...
Dylan: ...Milk?

Toby: Did you see the Pina Colada flavored?
J.T.: Yeah! Too bad they don't have...bacon!

Spinner: I have no backbone.
Mr. Armstrong: Excuse me?
Spinner: I have no backbone. I'm whipped, I'm totally spineless. My girlfriend completely controls my life

Marco: I hate bees! The're like flying death monkeys!

Spinner: Ok, this? Enrique called. Wants his shirt back. (tosses shirt)
Spinner: This, whole Oliver Twist thing? (in English accent) Please sir, don't wear this. You'll look like an idiot. (tosses shirt)
Spinner: Planning on wrestling cattle, dude?
Marco: Yeah, don't throw that.
Spinner: Now this, classy, sporty...very David Beckham...and very Del Rossi.

Spinner: Any more bitter and she would be a lemon.

Spinner: We need to play more gigs to get to smokin' hot.
Ashley: Spinner has a point.
Spinner: Who asked you? I mean - yeah. What she said.

Spinner: You are looking at Little Mister Handsome, ages four to six.
Darcy: So what happened after six?
Spinner: I guess I just got ugly.

Spinner: (at Bible camp, to Jay) One hot dog, beer stays in the car, your mouth stays shut and something else stays in your pants. Clear?
Jay: I don't know, let me pray on it.

Jimmy: Are you serious?
Spinner: I've never been seriouser!

Jimmy: Shouldn't you see a doctor?
Spinner: Nah, I'm just backed up. Need me some loving from sweet, sweet Jane!

Jimmy: Uh, yeah, but what did the doctor say?
Spinner: She said I might maybe, possibly, have cancer of the nuts.

Spinner: I really like you.
Jane: I really like you too.
Spinner: Cool. (pause) One more thing. (leans forward, kisses Jane)

Sav: Do you know what your new nickname is?
Alli: No?
Sav: Backwoods Bhandari.they think you hooked up with Johnny.
Alli: That's awesome!

Holly J: I got kicked off the squad, my dad lost all his money, and (checks to see if Spinner is still listening) ... I'm in love with the stupid hero over there.

BraceFace.

so, i have to admit i don't look bad with braces.

do i look eight and a 1/2? well, yes. yes i do.

i now understand why so many people call me cute.

Shereese, Nathalie and i got a charm bracelet today for our best friendattude. it was neat.

we got a superior at the chorus contest.

and that equals awesome.

we have school tomorrow. bleh. Then with Chris hopefully, it feels like i haven't kissed him in ages.

wow.

first time I have opened my bible in weeks.

it feels like a candy shop, i forgot what i was missing. leaning on Chris.

it disappoints me that i have to get dumped before i look to God.

i'm taking it a lot better than i expected.

thanks to some people, like Lindsey and Shereese!

"He protects our lives and does not let us be defeated." -Psalm 66:9

"Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me. I leave you peace; my peace i give you. I do not give it to you as the world does. So don't let your hearts be troubled." -John 14:1,27

"But I am always with you; you have held my hand. You guide me with your advice, and later you will receive me in honor...My body and my mind may become weak, but God is my strength. He is mine forever...I am close to God, and that is good. The Lord God is my protection." -Psalm 73:23-24, 26,28

things on my mind.

Chris Reid, and how amazing he is.

the fact that Jared, one of my best friends dated Jenelle from 16&pregnant.

soccer.

Lindsey Richardson.

how bad i feel right now.

that heartburn song.

Russel brand.

things i want, too.

Hilary Duff to be popular again.

a boyfriend who isn't in love with someone else.

to be a decent soccer player.

to have not straight as a brick hair.

to go to Julliard and follow my dreams.

confidence.

to live not here.

Lindsay Richardson.

to lose weight.

a billion pairs of sweat pants.

a cat.

to get my braces on and off.

for someone to love me for who i am.

yeah, that's a Nick Jonas song.

and lastly, to have a relationship with God like i used to.

to praise him with everything i have, to give him everything.

all my burdens, and insecurities.

that's what i want more than anything.

multi-purpose.

i'm finally home.

i had soccer until five thirty, and dance from five forty-five to nine.

i'm tired.

i get braces in ten days! :D

i shouldn't be excited, but i am.

i'll have them off my the end of the year anyway.

which, is eh-okay with me.

and i'm aware that should be a-okay.

i like to be different.

i also like to sleep.

goodnight.

instruction.

some people really get on my nerves.

one not being my boyfriend, because i adore him for telling me when people talk about me on facebook. :/

either way the fact is if your trying to get me to talk to you (by asking all my friends to get me to unblock you, and texting me every morning.) people tell me things, Paul. not that you read this anymore, but it's still lame.

it's not faith if you use your eyes.

i got an itunes giftcard for valentines day.

i lost it.

i'm pretty sad now.

where are you little giftcard?

drive by shooting.

i had soccer practice today.

my very first soccer practice.

ever.

in life!

i survived and kind of, maybe, just maybe enjoyed it.

it was fun, and the coach was surprised i'd never played, and even told me i was doing good!

i love life sometimes.

i also get fives extra credit points on my civics test thanks to Andrew, Levy, Josh, Paula, and i forgot the rest of my team mates! some team captain i am..

either way, i hope the test is easy tomorrow.

i saw Valentines Day yesterday!

it was amazing, especially with my valentine :)

life is good :)

and i accidentally pressed "f"

life is not food.

and Thomas Parks hugged me today! i almost cried. even if he did smell like smoke, ew.

ew. ew. ew. ew. ew.

he's still pretty.

i stole this from Gracie, sorry boo.

it's just too great.

Valentunes.

here's a list of the current love songs, bopping it's way through my brain.

think of you -a fine frenzy.

fun, happy, and sweet. my favorite characteristics!

carry you home -James blunt

not a typical valentune. still a great song.

you and i both -Jason mraz

perfect, simply perfect

heart of life -john mayer

doesn't really need an explanation.

I'm excited for Valentines day.

really excited.

i hope Chris likes his present :)

why are my times on my blog posts wrong?

can you say sick?

sick of him.

sick of drama.

sick of everything.

so much for valentines day.

so much for even having a valentine.

except for Lindsey.

i need help.

Shereese has been a ton of help lately.

i swear i wouldn't need boys if she was around all the time.

i'm glad i have her, because God knows i don't have anything else.

i'm with Chris.

he's talking about cheap cars.
apparently i don't agree with him.
we went to the game.
he hasn't been happy with me very much lately.
oh, well.
he's still at my house.
a little past our bed time?
don't you think?
i love him :D

skmfownfmskalas.

"maybe it's just me."
yeah it's just you.
i love my boyfriend.
i love Lindsey Richardson.
i love the fact that my household is absent of conditioner.
not really.
"just like that?"
ju$$ lykk datt!

Pants off. Dance off.

soccer workout tomorrow.
may Natalie rest in peace.
because. I'm. going. to. die. :D
I'm actually excited, with my little pink cleats, and my pink shin guards. my pink puma shorts.
pink might possibly be the greatest color. in the world.
speaking of pink, I'm excited for valentines day.
I've never had a valentine. now, that i think about it.
i told Chris i wanted to go on a picnic.
which is lame. but it sounds fun. right?

questions of the day:
Are you possessed by evil?
do you see animals or people that others don't?

Happy Birthday Thomas Parks!

p.s. you're hot.
kthxbye.

Reason #65303948 why i'm lame.

i check all of my social networking sites as soon as i get home, in order.
1.Facebook.
2.Formspring.me
3.Twitter
4.this.
which isn't really social. but i like to read Lindsey's posts.

still around.

go ahead and burn it down.
i'm drunk and so is everyone else...
in this devil town.
they won't let me turn around.
they won't let me turn around, to get one last look.

with a heavy heart.

i know what you say, i see what you do.
it breaks my heart.
you're not over her. you'll never be over her.
tears in the keys probably isn't good for my laptop.
i can't blame you for liking her.
she's beautiful inside and out.
i just wish you could tell me.
i've wasted, a lot of life on you.
i deserve this.
that's the worst part.
i accept it.
i can survive.

faults.

the one thing you didn't want me to do. the one thing you tried to stop me from doing. you may be the cause of.

trust issues.

i dislike blocking people from my phone.

it's something that needed to be done.

i guess.

i hate when people break my trust.

what we talk about is confidential to me.
and it sucks.
i'm sorry.

keep shinin' like you should.

i hate when people call the country genre "country western"

what's so western about it?

i wish Chris would stop being so...sensitive.

he's been so mad at me lately.

i don't even know why!

i finished Dear John it was fantastic. as expected.

the movie will be lame. i can tell.

I'll be hoping that we could be opening up one another.

i lose so many socks.
it makes me unhappy.
my laptop is apparently getting "checked out tomorrow"
which is exciting.
i went to a funeral yesterday.
i didn't expect to cry.
i did.
surprise tears.
i haven't had an appetite the last three days.
usually i eat like a dragon/horse/somethingbear.
song suggestion? be wanting one haven't you.
kickin' with you -Jason Mraz

december never felt so wrong.

this is my winter song to you.
the storm is coming soon.
it rose up from the sea.
my voice, a beacon in the night.
my words will be your light, to carry you to me.
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
is love..
they say that things just cannot grow beneath the winter snow.
..or so i have been told.
they say we're buried far.
just like a distant star.
i simply cannot hold.
Is love alive?
this is winter song.
december never felt so wrong.
you're not where you belong, inside my arms.

salvation was just a passing thought.

"..and though they say it's possible to me, i don't see it's probable.
i see the course we're on, spinning farther from what i know, i'll hold on.
tell me that you won't let go.
this could be something beautiful.
combine our love into something wonderful.
but times are tough, i know.
and, the pull of what we can't give up, takes hold."

feeling the love.

i really dig how Lindsey mentions me in her posts.
because she's my favorite human, i love her.
i like when people love me.
i love James Blunt.
i love John Mayer.
they're the only guys i've been listening to lately.
i feel like i'm living in a coffee shop.
i licked my chin last night.
i'm still attempting to read Dear John.
It's getting better.
gradually.
like my life. everyday.

i love making peoples life.

two hour delay tomorrow.
yes.
they are my favorite.
Chris still isn't talking to me...but that's not really anything new.
we wouldn't be us if we didn't fight all the time.
song suggestion: hooray for hollywood -Jared Lee.

my life is brilliant.

she could see from my face that i was flying high.

who really needs a title?

i wish my laptop would work.
i deleted this whole blog post so no one but Lindsey would see it. oops.

i feel like such an insomniac.

it's three forty three a.m.

February 1st.

i can't believe January has went by so quickly.

it's insane to me how fast everything goes.

i'm scared to close my eyes.

Lindsey told me she loves me today

she meant it.

i love when people are open with their emotions.

Chris hasn't told me in a while.

which saddens me..

i don't really know why he's upset; although, i never do.

i feel like giving up on trying to help him.

everything i do seems to make things worse.

my dress has pockets in it.

i find this fact neat; however, no one else does.

it's really lame to make your own fan club on facebook.

much less invite someone you've never talked to, to join.

dirtymind.

i really want some hot chocolate.

why doesn't every holiday have music?

it doesn't seem fair to thanksgiving.

if i was a holiday, (i don't know what the hold up is either.) then i would want a catchy tune.

Chris isn't talking to me.

i don't know why either.

According to Paul i'm the cutest girl in the world. *heart.*

why am i so freaking cute?

i really disagree.

i don't think i'm pretty, and i surely don't think i'm cute.

weird towns.

getting it right.

my favorite word is: Silly.

and the fact that facebook doesn't contain an "Dude, Is that your mom?" page makes me sad.

because moms like...hot ones deserve a page.

just saying.

i forgot.

Montana has never really been my definition of beautiful,

but recently..

she has been.

and because she's so pretty.

i was a facebookcreeper. and downloaded her pictures for you to enjoy.

she's also my best friend, so...

she deserves her own post.

useless characters.

if i could sit and eat light and fit yogurt.

while stumbling upon things.

while listening to john mayer.

for the rest of my life.

i would never go insane.

How dare you say it's nothing to me?

i wish i could express my thoughts to other people like i do on here.

i find it pretty silly.

i have self confidence issues.

i wish i didn't.

but...i wish a lot of things.

i settle for my looks.

or at least the looks i've got.

i'm somewhat decent looking in my opinion.

i like my eyes.

but i don't have what some might call the full package.

my friends do.. Or at least i think they do. i'd never tell them that. but it's true.

they're all beautiful. i'm sure you'd like some detail.

i'll start with Shereese.

mainly because i think she's the prettiest.

but don't tell her.

her confidence is outstanding.

it makes me envious of her.

she's naturally gorgeous. i wouldn't have her any other way,

the way she could wear sweat pants to a beauty contest and beat every chick in there.

i guess Nathalie's next.

i could refer to her as repunzel.

she deserves it.

she's beautiful.

no other way to describe her.

she can't help it. i don't mind.

who's next...

Lindsey. which she would've came first. but i don't see her everyday.

i swear she's the cutest thing i ever did see...

her pictures make me jealous.

even her friends make me jealous.

i have jealousy issues.

oh well. pretty girls.

next, is Alli.

i miss Alli.

i never really see her anymore.

then again, i'm glad. i couldn't stand it.

i've always had issues with wanting to be like Alli.

and i'm trying to get over those.

she's gorgeous. her little petite body, and her green eyes...

which i love.

i want green eyes.

i should really work on my confidence.

Alyssa? yes.

she's beautiful.

her pictures are beautiful.

not as good as Lindsey's i must say.

but still amazing.

she acts a way that people don't seem to notice.

i've always liked that about her.

although she left me a long time ago.

she left me for Alli.

but it saddens me to say, i don't really see her with Alli anymore.

i can tell Alli misses her.

i guess i'm done rating my friends.

i like to change colors.

i guess you can see why i feel so...not pretty all the time?

i like the way my mind works though.

don't get me wrong.

i wouldn't change that for the world.

but i wouldn't share it with the world either.

i'm sick of constant fake confidence.

when...i'm not confident in my looks.

i'm confident in myself.

the fact that God made me beautiful.

and that's alright with me.

i'm me.

whoever that is.

i'm still trying to figure that out.

when i do.

i may let you guys know.

then again..

maybe..

i won't.

i told you he was photogenic.

i sound depressed. i'm not. i promise.

you all may think i'm out of my mind.

but..

i'm in love.

i'm happy.

i'm friendly.

i'm smiley.

i'm sleepy.

i'm lovely.

i just think differently.

natalie is different.

Natalie is happy with her difference.

music overflows my mind.

i take photos of a stuffed lion.

he's very photogenic.

i search the world wide for anyone who seems to understand.

i haven't finished my search with result.

and that's okay...

with me.

s n a p.

photography is my only avenue.

elegance.

she fights for her life, as she puts on her coat.

and she fights for her life on the train.

she looks at the rain as it pours.

according to you.

According to you, i'm stupid.

i'm useless.

i can't do anything right.

according to you, i'm difficult, hard to please...

forever changing my mind.

i'm a mess in a dress, can't show up on time.

even if it would save my life.

according to you... according to you...

But according to him..

I'm beautiful.

Incredible.

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him..

i'm funny, irresistible.

everything he ever wanted.

everything is opposite.

i don't feel like stopping it.

tell me baby, what've i got to lose?

He's into me for everything i'm not.

according to you.

According to you..

i'm boring.

i'm moody.

you can't take me anyplace.

according to you.

you lied.

to me.

the truth is now unrealistic between us.

where did our time go?

i'm shaking.

i won't be back to see you.

i won't wander through your woods.

you won't wander through my mind.

i'll swim for salvation.

i'll be in this water.

it is bright.

it is cheery.

the world above me.

is dark.

it is dreary.

i'll blow bubbles.

i will float 'round about.

i will waste my dreams away.

under the water, i will stay.

i don't believe in you.

i told you this would happen.

sleep.

yours.

i want to be wanted.

by you.

but it hasn't been possible.

and that's okay with me.

i don't have to be yours.

my scars are your burden.

these pieces.

they belong to you.

coincidence.

but i don't want them.

help.

love.

that's all i need.

really.

i will be alone.

i will follow my dreams.

i will be away.

i will be made new.

i wish cherry blossoms could bloom in my mind.

uncover.

world war number.

294.

my mind. now.

debating is a thing that frightens me.

greatly.

i wonder.

i wonder.

i wonder.

he loves me.

not.

behind me.

is it called withdrawal?

leave that balloon on the cement.

you don't need it anymore.

leave his kisses on the sidewalk.

or they'll come knocking at your door.

just disappear in my arms.

shatter into me.

thousand.

loneliness is a pleasant word.

loneliness is a goal of mine.

i just want to succeed my personal expectations.

i deleted the blog i owned.

i needed a change.

i feel change.

i have nothing to lose but my dignity.

that's a lot to lose.

give it up for me please.

if you know what's good for you.

my life is bewteen the spacebars.

I just realized how routine my life is.

i never experience anything differently.

i want to get out. of here.

i want to live life to the fullest capacity.

without constant communication.

i want to live life outside of the bubble.

i am a free bird.

you will struggle to tie me down.

change?

it's as if i'm driving. and all the street lights. go dark. behind me.

i keep going.

life goes on.

you don't know what i'm saying.

but that doesn't matter to you.

the nails on my fingers gleam in the sun.

but their length is..

he has abandoned me.

i really have no care anymore.

am i scared? yes. but not for me.

i just want to write my own thoughts down.

without being judged.

without being punished.

i look to you.